How to be authentic—a guided session

Finding what matters to you most and what strengths you already have will help define and amplify your authenticity. Follow our simple exercises that deliver clarity on both. 

So far during this masterclass we’ve looked at what authenticity means in its broadest sense (if you haven’t yet dived in, you can read it here). We’ve looked at the ways you can explore how to make authentic choices (try our authenticity quiz here and our guided authenticity meditation here) and have heard from others about how they navigate the world in their most authentic way. But there’s a question that remains to be asked: are you authentic?  

As we’ve touched on previously, authenticity is a bespoke and individual concept because what makes us individually authentic is the set of values and morals that we decide to live by. Hopefully, there are universal ones that all humans share, but in how you live your life and make important decisions, what’s authentic behaviour to you will be different to someone else. So now it is essential to work out what your values and beliefs are so that you can be your authentic self. Follow the tasks below created by bestselling author, authenticity expert, and psychologist, Kelly Weekers to help you map out what means the most to you.  

Task 1: Your core values spider diagram 

Write your name in the middle of a piece of paper. From that, draw lines outwards to all the positive traits that you believe in and look for in other people. 

For example: kindness, honesty, justice, loyalty, confidence, belonging, integrity, mindfulness 

“Taking the time to consciously reflect on what’s important reminds us what genuinely matters and helps to reinforce our choices, enabling us to make decisions based on our core values and take action that is reflective of that too,” says Kelly.  

Place your core values spider diagram somewhere you can constantly look at it and refer to it. That might be by your desk, on the fridge or in your bedside journal. Keep coming back to it, read over it and remind yourself of this set of morals and values that make you happier. You can use this spider diagram as a lens through which you make decisions or react in the moment.  

Task 2: Your strengths spider diagram 

Write your name in the middle of a piece of paper. From that, draw lines outwards and write down all the positive things your family, friends and people who love you would say about you. 

For example: hard worker, outgoing, cares about others, ambitious, organised 

Now, look at both the spider diagrams side-by-side. Can you link each of your strengths to one of your core values? That will reinforce that your behaviour and how others see you is coming from one of your core values. That is authenticity at its finest. It may also flag some core values or strengths you hadn’t thought about so add them on.  

Why do all of this?  

It comes back to the fact that being authentic isn’t always the easiest way to be. Your authenticity can be tested and sometimes it may feel easier to abandon your true beliefs and opt for the status quo instead. But that is not living authentically. Repeating and reminding yourself of who you are, what you believe in, the actions you take and how others see you will reinforce and amplify your own authenticity and make it easier to stick with it even when it may feel like the harder choice.  

“We always talk about becoming our authentic selves like it’s a beautiful thing but it’s not. The end result is beautiful, yes, but you on your journey to a more authentic way of living mostly looks awful,” says Kelly. “It looks more like wanting to stay in bed because you no longer enjoy the things you thought you enjoyed. It’s feeling like an outsider or lonely because you’re outgrowing people and setting boundaries. It’s making progress only to fall flat on your face again. Becoming the person you were always meant to be is hard work but the end result is amazing. Once you know how it feels to truly be you, you will never allow anything that doesn’t align with that to take up space in your life.” 

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This article is part of our authenticity masterclass to help you discover who you truly are and to empower you to lead and live a more authentic life. By allowing yourself to tap into your true essence you will be able to connect with the world around you in a new and positive way.