Feeling weighed down by the past? Learn how to lighten your emotional load and make space for more joy and positivity with these expert strategies for letting go and moving on. 

Carving out more space in our lives for joy and positivity is an appealing prospect. Who doesn’t want to feel lighter and brighter every day? But a key step to getting there is making the tough decision to let go of things that no longer serve us. Things which may actually be leading us to self- sabotage our own happiness.  

Whether it’s a lingering feeling of regret, anger that continues to simmer below the surface, the shadow of unmet expectations, or perhaps a relationship that no longer supports or nurtures us, emotional baggage from the past can certainly weigh us down. It can act as an anchor to unfulfillment, and hinder our ability to move forward and fully embrace all the opportunities for joy that life has to offer.  

As Damon Zahariades observes in his insightful book, The Art of Letting Go, true liberation lies in our willingness to release what no longer serves us. With each relinquished burden, we’re able to create space for new beginnings and pave the way for a brighter, more fulfilling path ahead. 

So, if you’re ready to say goodbye to regrets, anger, an unfulfilling relationship or even a job you’ve outgrown, try these useful tips and practical strategies from our experts.  

Why letting go is essential 

According to Eloise Skinner, a psychotherapist and author, letting go is akin to opening a door to new beginnings and opportunities. "By letting go (either symbolically, emotionally or mentally) of things that no longer serve us, we can often open up space for new beginnings and opportunities," she explains.  

“When we focus on the past, or on things that are no longer helpful for us, we can find ourselves drawn back into similar patterns, habits or behaviours that reflect the former stage of life. Letting go brings with it the opportunity to start again, or to reshape our lives in a new direction.” 

Catherine Embleton, a cognitive hypnotherapist, echoes this sentiment. “If you want to improve your mental wellbeing, you have to be willing to let go of those thoughts and feelings that no longer serve you,” she says. 

“Holding onto past regrets or frustrations can hinder your ability to move forward and prevent you from experiencing joy or happiness in the present moment. It essentially leaves you with emotional baggage that will only weigh you down and limit your potential for fulfilment.” 

Identifying what holds us back 

So, how do we get started on this journey of letting go? According to Georgie May, a wellness activist and the author of Lucky Girl: Unveiling the Secrets of Manifesting a Lucky Life, the first step in letting go is self-reflection.  

“Ask yourself if a relationship or job, or whatever it may be, is causing you to be unbalanced; if it brings joy, fulfilment, and aligns with your values,” she suggests. “If not, it may be time to reassess. Pay attention to emotional cues; persistent negativity or a lack of enthusiasm may signal that it's time to let go and move forward.” 

Embleton agrees, noting that it’s also important to consider why we may feel reluctant to let go. “People often struggle to move on due to fear of the unknown,” she explains. “We may have become overly attached to familiar patterns or deep-seated negative beliefs. By refusing to embrace change or release negative emotions, you trap yourself in a vicious cycle of pain, regret or self-loathing. Recognising these barriers is the first step to overcoming them.” 

Releasing past anger and resentment 

When it comes to releasing the grip of anger and resentment, both May and Skinner emphasises the transformative power of forgiveness. This doesn't necessarily entail reconciling with those who've wronged us, but rather making a conscious decision to let go of the negative emotions as a gift to ourselves.  

“A powerful method for letting go involves finding a quiet space, placing your hands over your heart, and closing your eyes. With each breath, attune yourself to your body, and with every exhale, visualise releasing burdens,” says May. “Feel tension dissipate, cultivating a deep sense of calm. This practice, symbolising self-compassion, empowers you to make a deliberate choice to let go. Repeat it regularly for emotional freedom, facing life with newfound clarity.” 

Letting go of relationships that have run their course 

Be it friendships or romantic partners, relationships that have become unfulfilling can be very difficult to let go of. But our experts agree that acceptance and gratitude can play pivotal roles here. “It's always important to take time to grieve the loss, and not to rush through the process of letting go or feeling sadness over the ending,” says Skinner. 

“We can help ourselves process this time through journaling, chatting with friends or family, speaking to a therapist or other professional, engaging in personal passions or hobbies, or even taking time to reconnect with ourselves through self-care days,” she advises. 

“Try spending more time in nature or anything else that brings you joy. It can also help to symbolically let go of that person by removing physical reminders of their presence - belongings or other possessions, for example.” 

Letting go of a job that doesn’t serve you 

Just as in relationships, acceptance is crucial when it comes to letting go of a job that no longer aligns with our values or brings us fulfilment. Our experts suggest assessing your career satisfaction and considering whether your current role contributes to our overall happiness. If not, it may be time to explore new opportunities and release yourself from the constraints of a job that’s no longer a good fit.  

“Be open and honest during moments of reflection and self-assessment,” advises Embleton. “Notice how certain relationships or workplaces make you feel. Do certain situations drain or energise you? Are there recurring conflicts or periods of dissatisfaction? Trust your intuition and pay attention to your emotional responses.” 

Read more: Knowing this will help propel your career to new heights 

Overcoming overthinking and adjusting expectations 

“Mindfulness is your best friend here. Challenge negative thoughts by staying present and redirecting your focus,” asserts May. “Set realistic expectations and understand that perfection is unattainable. 

Cultivate gratitude for what you have and celebrate small victories. When faced with overthinking, remind yourself that not everything requires an immediate solution; sometimes, letting go is an active decision to trust the process. Surrender and breathe.” 

Skinner agrees, emphasising the importance of learning how to bring yourself back to the present moment when you feel thoughts begin to spiral. “This can be as simple as taking time to focus on our breath, body or surroundings - or practising quick meditative moments throughout the day,” she says. “Try closing your eyes and taking three deep, grounding breaths.” 

Embracing the journey of letting go 

Letting go isn't a one-time event but a continuous process of self-discovery and growth, which paves the way for a brighter, more fulfilling future. “The act of letting go isn’t simple and requires work in order to fully heal,” confirms May. “Once you practise it, letting go becomes an act of self-love and growth, creating space for new lessons and connections to enrich our ever-evolving journey.” 

Start your journey now with this guided meditation designed to help you let go of the things that don’t serve you.