Because self-care and slowing down are the antidote to burnout, we reveal how to relax with intention. 

It’s no secret that we’ve become a society for which switching off, resting and doing nothing has become alien to the majority of us. Triggering feelings of guilt and inadequacy, even when we realise we’re teetering on burnout, having a cheeky nap or carving out some time for a yoga class can be viewed as an indulgence. We’re always-on and if we’re off, we’re feeling guilty about it. 

“The rise of a ‘hustle’ culture that glorifies busyness and productivity has significantly contributed to the guilt associated with doing nothing. In many societies, personal value and success are often measured by one’s level of activity or output, leading to a collective mindset that equates rest with laziness or unproductiveness,” explains Brittany Hunt, clinical therapist at Clinic Les Alpes. 

We’ve also been fed the idea that we ‘can’ do it all – a pressure that so many of us are trying to live up to. And it’s making us tired, really tired. “We have glorified the concept that we can do and be anything and social media has contributed to this by seeing our friends and others constantly out and about, with new hobbies or attending events. It can be never ending,” admits positive psychology practitioner, Ruth Cooper-Dickson. 

However, the more we deny ourselves the rest that could save us from burnout, the faster we hurtle towards it. According to psychotherapist and author, Tasha Bailey, we shouldn’t feel the need to ‘deserve’ rest. “It doesn’t need to be earned or gifted. Learn that rest is a basic human need and start each day attending to your needs before you attend to anyone or anything else’s,” she says. 

This is the concept behind ‘Bare Minimum Monday’s’ – a term coined by startup founder and digital creator Marissa Jo who begins the first two hours of her Monday finishing admin tasks she didn’t get round to at the weekend, taking a gym class or doing a food shop. Essentially basic needs that once met, will allow her to focus on the week ahead. Admittedly the term has come under fire (a bit like quiet quitting where you don’t work above or over your contracted hours), with some critics implying that it could allude to the idea that ‘bare minimum’ is reminiscent of ‘not doing enough’. But according to Jo and those who follow her lead, it’s simply about achieving the right balance of ticking off the urgent work duties, as well as general wellbeing tasks that ensure you’re in a good mindset to start the working week. 

Release the pressure 

A lot of the pressure we put on ourselves may be a hangover from our childhoods where we were always encouraged to do more, be the best or work harder – and experts are noticing it is generational, with younger crowds more likely to set boundaries with friends, family and bosses about what’s expected from them. “As a millennial we grew up thinking not doing anything is procrastinating but new generations, especially Gen Z are working harder to set up more limits to change the old-fashioned perspective of success,” says Dalila Salgueiro, positive psychology coach and founder of the Manifesting app. “They recognise that our brains are a big machine that also need rest in order to perform at our best potential. And remember, whatever your mind doesn’t speak, your body will tell you. Many illnesses such as autoimmune diseases are a consequence of the lack of rest but people ignore the signals the body is trying to give us.” 

Rest with intention 

It might sound crazy but just like if you’re wanting to implement a new habit such as an exercise class, it’s good to write your rest time down in your diary. That way it will become an enforced part of your schedule. “You need to practice having healthy boundaries with yourself which requires learning when and how to say no to your need to work and yes to your need to rest. Make use of alarms, calendars and enlist ‘rest accountability partners’ where you can,” continues Tasha. 

An innovative idea, if you have a co-worker or gym buddy or peer who struggles with guilt around relaxation, why not hold each other accountable for taking that time you need to find moments of peace and calm.  

“I plan rest into my diary and hold it as a firm boundary – not just with others but also with myself,” says Ruth. “It’s about giving yourself permission to embrace what you need and carve that time out. Rest comes in all shapes and sizes too. It can be sensory such as not being in noisy places or around people, it can be mental rest, i.e. not working, or physical rest like napping, yoga Nidra, lying on the couch. A big tip is not to attach a target to whatever you’re doing, even if it’s a hobby – do it for the fun and joy. You might be terrible at gardening but being outside for an hour in the fresh air may make you feel more present and connected with nature.” 

Put a stop to multi-tasking  

For many, especially women, multi-tasking is seen not only as a badge of honour highlighting our ability to juggle everything, but also a necessity. But this cycle of continuous work and chores is one that prevents a focus on your overall wellbeing. “Compulsive multi-tasking can be a sign that we’re stuck in our nervous system’s fight or flight mode which keeps us on high arousal and alert,” explains Tasha. For this reason, you need to add in bitesize moments for breaks and downtime. Brittany suggests techniques as deep breathing exercises or short meditations to help refocus your attention and reduce the urge to multitask constantly. They’re also feasible to slot into your work day. 

If you have more time to play with, think about what you really enjoy doing that helps you switch off and direct your energy towards that. “If your adrenaline and cortisol is put towards going for a run, dancing to your favourite album, drawing, etc, it will trick the brain into believing you’ve done your ‘fight or flight’ activity and completed your stress cycles which will naturally move our body into the slower rhythm of ‘rest and digest’ mode,” explains Tasha. 

Of course, it’s not always easy. The desire to achieve often outweighs the desire to do nothing but you need to reframe your downtime as compassion for you and those around you. If you’re well-rested, you’re no doubt likely to perform better in all aspects of your life as a result. “Guilt is a powerful emotion that uses up a lot of energy but I encourage people to be compassionate and reduce harsh thoughts and judgements they direct at themselves and be curious instead,” says Dr Alicia Ray, psychologist and yoga therapist. “It takes courage but if you’re deciding to rest, then own it. Replenish your depleted energy and you’ll come back feeling renewed.”